In my line of work, I get to speak to so many mamas and I get a lot of comments like “why can’t I find people like you to hang out with?” From this statement, I feel there is still quite a bit of judgment from mums towards other mums. This makes me sad as we are all going through the same thing. Whether it is at the same time or not we can all help each other, share advice or just be the shoulder to have a cry on.
Post-natal depression the big elephant in the room no one likes to speak about. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I think it’s time to make it an easy topic to speak about. I feel the issue is getting worse as social media has taken over our lives. The keyboard worriers and trolls commenting on our every photo, but in fact, if it was a face to face situation these trolls would have nothing to say! So I say…’forget about it’ (in my Italian mafia voice).
If you are struggling with any part of being a mama you need to talk to someone about it, even if you think it’s stupid, it never is! I guarantee you 99% of the time the mama you speak to will say “oh my god that happened to me too!” Sometimes you just need to talk about it to make it better in your head. I found when I spoke to someone about the day/week I was having it all went away and it’s like a weight lifted off your shoulders!
For me being the first to have a baby in my close group of friends it was so hard and isolating at times because they were all at work and had other things going on in their lives. Also having a mothers group I couldn’t connect with made it even worse. But now all my friends have beautiful babies of their own all the things I went through I can tell them it’s bad now but it passes and gets better. Being a mother is HARD! But being a mother is also the most rewarding thing you will ever do. So if you’re having a hard time or the transition from individual to a mother is getting hard to adjust talk to someone.
I transformed from individual to mother the day my little man came into the world (let’s face it I was in total pregnancy la la land until he was in my arms). My little man came into the world via emergency cesarean and we struggled to breast feed. Recovery from an emergency cesarean is so unbelievably hard and you never imagined your birth to end in this way because let’s face it they never tell you that it can! In the mix of trying to walk and do things like wipe your own bum without ripping your
open you still have to be a mother. I truly feel sorry for what my poor partner had to do for me! So when it came to breast feeding my supply took weeks to come in and when it came in it was not enough. I tried hard to breast feed and it was the most awful experience. If I had my time over I wouldn’t have put myself under that much stress and pain, because at the end of the day there is only one thing that matters…a fed baby! After we started on the bottle everything fell into place, the baby started sleeping and he wasn’t up all night crying. He did have his struggles with finding a formula that was right for him. But once we did…boom a happy baby! Not once did the midwife suggest moving onto the bottle as they kept saying keep trying it will get better. Well, it didn’t, so we tried something different and it was better for us. My message here is just do you and do what works for you and your child. Fed is by far best!